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tallihensiaTitle: Changes Unfathomed
Fandom: Smallville/DCU - Characters: Conner, Clark/Lex, Hope, Mercy, Cassie, others
Rating: PG - Words: 22,432
Type: drama, adventure, au
Warnings: none
Spoilers: none
Summary: Life moves on: Conner trains, Clark changes, Lex lets them in… still, the enemy is out there. (Takes place during Phased Worlds, back on the other side.)
Notes:
Next in the Not A Villain series after Phased Worlds. Well, takes place at the same time as Phased Worlds, actually. Returning to our main cast. 10th in the Conner series, "Not a Villain" (11th if you count the prelude). (See the Master Post for links and summaries to all stories.) Cross-posted to Archive of our Own.
Disclaimer: Only mine in my dreams. ^^ This story was written for free entertainment purposes only and may not be reproduced for profit or altered without permission.
Clark sat at the breakfast table and stirred his cereal around in the bowl, making sure the milk soaked into every part of the grains. He had to admit that Conner had been right – brand name Corn Chex was much better than generic corn flakes. Now that he wasn't budgeting out of reflex anymore, he admitted that, yes, the old ones had tasted like cardboard. This was much better.
Taking a bite, Clark savored the way it was just between crispy and soggy, with a nice taste and accompanied with the rich taste of the milk.
"Omygod, omygod, omygod!" A blue and green streaked blur dashed through the kitchen, but even superspeed had to wait for the milk to pour. "I'm so late! Why didn't my alarm clock go off?!" Conner turned accusing eyes on Clark. "Why didn't you wake me?"
Clark swallowed his bite. "I turned your alarm off. You're not going to school today."
Conner froze and the milk overran the glass, spilling out. Conner yelped in reflex and there was another small blur as he cleaned things up. Then he put the milk away, the glass down, put his hands on his hips and looked at Clark. "What?"
"I called the school and withdrew you. We've got to be at LexCorp this week."
Conner blinked. "Oh yeah. Training. Forgot about that." He paused, "Wait, withdrew? Not excused?"
The chex were getting soggy, turning past that perfect point to over-saturated. Clark sighed, pushing the bowl a little ways away. "You've already missed a lot of school because I wasn't here. And then there was the incident in March where we both were spending time between the JL's satellite and the Fortress of Solitude."
"Not so solitude as all that," Conner grumped. There had been 20 of them in the Fortress for nearly a month, and as big as the place was, they were still falling over each other. Particularly when the AI didn't approve of having anybody else over at all. It hadn't gone out of its way to make things comfortable for the people there.
Clark shrugged. He was more used to incidents like that, but it had been Conner's first. Kon had been with him for nine months now... Clark glanced at the calendar on the wall. Almost ten. Less than a year. It seemed like forever. Conner was such a part of his life, Clark couldn't believe he hadn't been with him for all the fourteen years he looked like. His son. Kon was his son, and they were together, but his son was less than two years old, and more of his life had been spent being tortured than he'd been living with Clark, even if that's not how Kon saw it. “The time in the labs” was what Kon said it was, and it didn't have anything to do with what the time now was. At least that's what he claimed. The nightmares came out at night, and that's the only time Kon would admit to it.
"I wanted you to have a normal life," Clark finally said. "And school is a part of a normal life. But we're not normal, and normal can't cope with our life. Not as it is."
"Shouldn't that be 'lives'?"
Clark laughed. "You've been living with me too long." He lost the smile. "Not long enough. Not yet. I want years and years with you, Conner. Decades. All the time we never knew and all of it that we can have. You're my family."
Kon watched him with wide eyes. Then he blinked, picked up his milk glass and sat down at the table with Clark. "Um, I didn't mind school, not really. And I'm going to do better at the secrets thing, I will. Hope and Mercy will help with that, and you won't have to worry."
Kon was Clark's sun, the rays of sunshine that lit up his life and made the world brighter. Clark wondered if all parents felt like this, even as his smile returned in the face of Conner's earnestness.
"I know," Clark said simply. "Eat your breakfast, and then we'll head over." He pulled the bowl back to him and added some more chex. The crispy new mixed with the soggy old was almost as good as the perfect in-between.
... ... ...
They walked into the LexCorp lobby at 9:15. Clark had called Charity the night before and arranged to informally get on Lex's calendar. It wasn't on any of the computers, and not on security, or anywhere else that could be accessed, but she'd cleared out an hour on Lex's schedule. It hadn't been as hard as Clark had thought it might be. Apparently when Lex had rearranged his schedule to stay at LexCorp for the week and let Mercy and Hope train Conner, he hadn't filled it up with meetings every minute of the day. Clark wondered what that meant. Probably nothing more than wanting to spend time with Conner. Or to do more research on Lionel. Probably. Possibly.
Kon bounced along next to Clark in his usual enthusiastic manner, striding out happily, watching all around them and noticing everything. He could see everything, including the things that Clark no longer did. The cracks in the sidewalk that formed patterns, the smile on people's faces as they met Conner's eyes and he grinned at them, the others who would look away, the plants that grew in little corners where dust had built up, the different shades of blue used in advertising signs.
To his son, everything was new and wondrous and different. He'd point things out to Clark, and Clark would wonder when he lost his own attention to those same things. Kon loved it all, and he shared it with Clark.
Clark only hoped that Mercy and Hope would leave the wonder when they were done training the caution. Obviously, Clark himself had done a poor, poor job of reinforcing the need for a double-life and the dangers that were there. He would do anything to save his son, and in this case, the need for training was greater than his desire to keep Kon from pain. Safe had many meanings, and Lionel had his sights set on Conner.
"Hi," Clark greeted the receptionist. "Clark and Conner Kent, here to see Justice Hamon."
The trim young man checked his computer and nodded. "May I please see your IDs?"
Clark handed his over, and nudged Kon to remind him as well. It was a normal student ID, given out by the school. Not as secure or protected as a Driver's License. If Conner had been old enough, Lex would have gotten him one of those as well, Clark was sure. Lex would have given Conner everything. He'd given him as much as he could, that Clark and Conner would accept and that wouldn't be suspicious. Lex loved Conner; Clark knew he did. Lex wouldn't hurt Kon.
Lex had loved Clark and hurt him. Clark had betrayed Lex and hurt him. The world was different now. Different and the same. It wouldn't be the same. Clark's mind was going in circles between worrying and reassuring himself.
Once they got past the security into the labs, Justice met them with a quick grin and attention more for Conner than Clark. Hope was waiting over at the other door, but Conner was asking Justice questions about something he'd been thinking of, and Justice was answering and the two of them were in their own little world.
Ten minutes later, they were still at it, and Clark had eased into a chair, and Hope was leaning against the wall. Clark would have been more concerned about their schedule, except Hope didn't seem to be worried about it herself. He looked at her and waited until she looked back at him. When their eyes met, Hope rolled hers at the ceiling and Clark had to laugh.
The sound distracted Kon as nothing else had, and he looked first at Clark, and then at Hope, and he blushed. "Um, sorry. I just wanted to know..."
"It's all right," Hope said. "We'd planned on at least fifteen minutes with you two."
"You had?" Justice blinked.
Hope laughed again. "This way, when they ask what you met about, you can tell them."
"True enough." Justice grinned. "Okay, Conner, we've got five more minutes. How about if---"
Clark stopped listening, and settled back in his chair to simply watch, enjoying his son's happiness.
... ... ...
Clark and Conner passed through the hallowed chambers of LexCorp's Executive Secretary, giving a cautious nod to Charity as they did so. She passed them on with only a brief pause while she picked up the phone and let Lex know they were there.
Going into Lex's office Clark walked in first. He looked for Lex and found him at the expected seat behind his desk. Lex met his gaze and his eyes tightened with old, familiar anger. It was a look that Clark was so used to that he didn't even pause and continued on.
As Lex's gaze flicked to Conner, the anger disappeared and his features softened. He didn't do anything as obvious as show emotion, but still Clark read the fondness Lex had for his son. Clark tried hard not to be jealous of his son, channeling it instead into gladness that Lex loved Kon.
"Conner," Lex said with a bare hint of welcome.
"Hey, DT," Kon cheerfully returned as he sauntered in and claimed the office as easily as he'd claimed his parents' hearts.
The mask slipped away as Lex's mouth curved up. He held the smile for a moment, then it slipped away almost as quickly. "Kon, about the other day, I... have to apologize for the way I spoke to you."
Clark blinked. It was almost unheard of for Lex to hesitate over things, and to apologize? He’d never… no, he had heard Lex apologize like that before, but not for many many years. Lex humbling himself to try and get a friendship back. Usually often when it was Clark’s fault equally, but Lex had always taken the blame to get back.
In this case, though, Clark had no idea what Lex was talking about. He looked at Kon, who was looking just as baffled.
Conner studied Lex for a moment and then asked, “What for?”
Lex grimaced and put his hands on the desk, flattening them out. "At the cabin. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I'm sorry. There were better ways to get my point across instead of losing my temper."
Conner laughed. "DT, I've seen you lose your temper before. That? That was just taking charge." He grimaced, looking very like his dad as he did. "And I totally deserved it. It was my fault, and I know it was."
The blank look was back on Lex's face, nothing else about him moved, even by super-sight.
While Clark was trying to figure out what had caused Lex to shut down, Kon rolled his eyes. "Casablanca, DT."
They were treated to the exceptionally rare sight of Lex turning red. He shifted the chair away from the desk, obviously embarrassed. Apparently he’d forgotten about his temper tantrum from when he’d barely met Conner. Their second meeting. In all honesty, Clark had also forgotten about it. But then, it was more normal for Clark. He’d seen lots worse from Lex.
Lex, more characteristically, promptly redirected away from it. “I scared you at the cabin, and I didn’t stop – I kept going. I should have realized and stopped.”
Conner laughed. “Are you shitting me?”
“Kon,” Clark reflectively said, then instantly wished he’d kept his mouth shut.
Kon stuck a hand in his pocket and came out with a crumpled bill which he handed to Clark without looking. “DT, you didn’t scare me.”
Lex snorted.
“Well, maybe you did,” Kon conceded, “But not really. The thing is, you were right. If I was cowering, it’s because I knew that every single thing you said was right and I was guilty for not doing better.” He drew in his breath. “I should have been more careful. Should be. I hurt people – unintentionally, but I do. Mercy’s relationship with Hope might be destroyed, I could have outed Tim, I could have risked you… I don’t want to do that! I think about it all the time. I think about it before I say something, then I think about it immediately after, and then I have bad dreams about it that night. I don’t want the bad buys to know about Tim’s dad, I don’t want them to know about Cassie’s mom. Hell, I’m doing it right now… I don’t know if you know Tim or Cassie or if they have parents, and just because I trust you and know you know doesn’t mean I really know and I shouldn’t have said that. But I did. And I do. I need to learn.”
The last several sentences had been spoken with barely any stops or breaths. Now Conner took the opportunity to take some air in while the others thought through his words.
Clark was glad that Conner had thought about all that. It meant he really was ready for the training and wasn’t just saying so. Clark may not have been the best trainer himself, but even Batman hadn’t succeeded with Kon. So… Mercy and Hope. It would be nice if they never had to worry about such things, but that wasn’t the world they lived in.
Lex was still looking a little uncertain, torn between his instincts of the day before and the worry he had for hurting Kon. Clark sympathized.
Hope cleared her throat. “And speaking of which… Conner?” She gestured at the door.
After a pause, during which it looked like Kon thought about heading around the desk to hug Lex, then didn't, Kon waved a cheerful hand at both his dads and followed Hope out of the office.
There was a minute of silence left inside, while both Clark and Lex looked at the shut door.
“That’s it?” Clark finally said.
Lex grimaced. “Yes. I’m not invited either. I have absolutely no idea what they’re planning.”
Clark’s imagination was painting vivid, horrible pictures that were all wrong. Probably. He shook his head. It couldn’t be any worse than what Batman did. Probably. “No kryptonite, right?”
“I made them turn all their stocks into Justice,” Lex growled. “That was the stupidest stunt ever. And no, they’ve been made well aware they’re not allowed to go anywhere near Kon with it during this so-called-training.”
“Well…” Clark glanced uncertainly between Lex and the door. Then he turned towards the door. “I guess I should head out. I’ll be back later to pick up Conner.” He didn’t want to leave, but it was obvious he wasn’t quite welcome here, and no reason he should be.
“Oh shut up and get back here.” The growl sounded exactly the same. Lex’s reaction to stupid people doing stupid things.
Clark didn’t really feel like getting beat up today. Physically or emotionally. But he turned around anyhow. He looked for a moment at the seats in front of Lex’s desk, then headed instead to the couch perpendicular to the window. He sat down. Lex always had the most comfortable furniture, without losing practicality in the function. Metropolis was above the fog layer outside the window. When they’d come into the building, it was still grey mist on the ground.
There were sounds of Lex moving to stand nearby. Not sitting next to Clark on the couch, just standing near. Not that Clark expected anything like that. Just an observation.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Lex didn’t mince words. “You’ve been moody all morning.”
“I’ve been in your office for less than five minutes!” Clark turned from the window to face Lex.
Lex raised an eyebrow.
Clark groaned. “You’ve been watching us since we got here. Since we left the apartment? You don’t have cameras inside the apartment, do you?”
“Of course not.” Lex snorted. “Despite your delusions, you’re not that interesting.”
Clark was going to have to sweep for bugs again. He did it regularly anyhow, but given the mood Lex himself was in… Or he might leave them there. Conner lived with him now, and Lex cared.
“I withdrew Conner from the High School,” Clark came out with it abruptly. “It’s not the right place for him.”
Lex shrugged indifferently.
“I was mostly normal when I was growing up, my powers coming in a little at a time, not even knowing I was different from my friends other than having to be more careful of my strength.” Clark turned to the window again. “I had a normal life, because I was normal, with normal parents. The powers… the alienness… that was the weird stuff, the stuff I didn’t always want and had to adapt to, while still trying to be a teenager. It wasn’t something I want anybody else to ever have to go through.”
“You excelled at the teenage angst,” Lex agreed, a hint of a laugh in his voice.
Clark’s mouth twitched up at the memory of how many hours he’d spent in Lex’s office or over the pool table pouring out his worries over girls and grades… none of which made any difference in the long run. “I wanted Conner to have normal, but he’s not normal, I’m not normal, and we don’t live normal lives. High School isn’t so wonderful that he needs to be there.”
Lex was still indifferent. Clark had only gotten a few tales out of him of his own early school experiences, and those were mostly about bullies and no-so-nice teachers, so he rather suspected that Lex had a less-than-favorable opinion of schools in general.
“Go on,” Lex prompted after Clark had stayed quiet for awhile.
Clark sighed. “Clark Kent didn’t finish college. Clark Kent is a lousy person to do any sort of home schooling. I don't even know if I'm qualified to home teach. I want Conner to have a good education, and for people not to look down on him for it. I can teach him myself... but then people will wonder because Clark Kent wouldn't have been able to do that. And Conner won't have the right credentials for later, and he should meet new people, not just all the superheroes. I want to get real special tutors, with things that will educate and challenge him... and I can’t afford that. I’m going to have to get a new job.”
Lex blinked at that last. "A new job?"
In all his life, Clark had only ever had one job. Helping on the farm didn't count, not really. The Daily Planet had been his second life and his only other life. Switching his writing to op ed articles hadn't been nearly as traumatizing as the mere thought of leaving the Planet altogether. But, "It doesn't pay enough. I never kept any savings." The job had paid more than he needed to live on, living as cheaply as he did, but at the start he sent the rest of the money on to his mom, and then when she was financially secure, he donated most of the rest to charities. He'd never thought he'd needed any savings. But that was for one person living by himself, and without a teenage son that he needed to put through college and special schooling. If he'd kept his old role as investigative reporter, Perry would probably have given him a raise. For op-ed... well, Perry would still give him a raise. But it was time for a change, even if he was scared spitless over it. "For Conner... for Conner I need to change."
“I could---” Lex clamped his mouth shut on his words.
“Yes, you could,” Clark agreed softly. He’d thought about it. How easy it would be to take Lex’s money, Lex’s time, Lex’s resources. They wouldn’t be for him, after all – it would be for Conner. And Conner deserved the best. With Lex's resources, Clark could keep his comfortable, safe job and not have to change. Not have to change in anything except his morals.
It was a very slippery quick slope to corruption, wasn’t it? When your justifications weren’t for just you yourself. It had always been so easy to be morally upright when it was just him alone. But having to be responsible for another person… After all the many years of fighting crime and not understanding it, Clark suddenly knew why some people could make stupid decisions. Not for themselves, but for others.
Hadn’t he been just the same as a kid? Not accepting anything Lex would do for himself, but freely asking for the gifts for others. Somehow thinking that because it was for other people, it was okay, and never really seeing that it was just as wrong. Or just as right. Because Lex gave those gifts freely at the time, not asking anything at all in return, just happy to help. Clark hadn’t realized until he'd met Oliver that people usually expected things back. It was what Clark's dad had always tried to warn him about, but Clark had never realized because Lex hadn’t ever asked for anything more than his friendship. Lex had just wanted to help, and Clark had always thrown it back in his face, just like his dad. Luthor name, Luthor motives, never mind the truth.
Lex cleared his throat. “You’ve been a writer for many years, with many awards. That’s enough on the resume to get jobs in the private sector. They’ll pay better than a reporter’s salary, even a top reporter.”
Clark looked over, his eyebrows raising. “Doing what?”
Lex’s expression did an interesting dance of moving between incredulous and exasperation. The exasperation won out. He walked to the couch and sat down, forcing Clark more into his own space.
“For someone who prides themselves on knowing people and staying on top of events, you’re sure lousy at the real world things.” Lex huffed. “Companies pay well for people who can write. There are many fields involving communication.” He ticked them off on his fingers. “Press releases – which you should know about, having read enough of them in your reporter job, media relations, company newsletters and announcements, copywriting, technical writing in just about any field you can think of, formal publications, procedures, grant writing and applications, copyright searches and applications, marketing, advertising… and that’s just off the top of my head.” Lex spread out his fingers, showing both hands open.
Strong hands, with slender fingers, that could trace one’s skin so delicately, clever fingers to grasp and hold one moment and play patterns upon the skin the next. Clark forced his eyes away from those fingers, those hands, and the memories and desires that came with them. “Don’t you have to... have training for those?”
Lex glanced from his own hands to Clark’s face, then back again. When he looked up again, his eyes were changing color, turning from a pale blue to a darker hue. But he didn’t reach out. “I don’t think you’d have any problems learning. Do you?”
“Probably not,” Clark agreed. As Lex had mentioned the jobs, Clark had remembered different people he’d known doing them. It may not be a giant public service that he was doing... but neither had most of the things he’d reported on while working his way up the ladder at the Planet. Covering the garbage collectors' strike, the city council meetings, the dog trends... some of that had been impossibly mundane and boring, but had to be done to advance to where he could do good.
He’d also used the reporter beat as a way to keep on top of news about things that needed Superman, making friends with the crime reporters and keeping his ear out. However, nowadays with the A.I. trained and the J.L. coordinating, that wasn’t needed anymore. Lois and Jimmy could always fill him in with local things the others missed.
Right now, the way Lex was relaxing back on the couch was much more interesting.
Clark edged a little closer to Lex, their legs brushing. “One of the problems I have, though, is new jobs will expect regular work from me. Superman always has to come first. I was lucky at the Daily Planet.”
“You had a lot of people looking out for you, even when they didn’t know what they were looking out for.” Lex’s voice had dropped a little lower in his range. Not his deepest, but definitely below his normal speaking voice.
“I won’t have that in a new job,” Clark breathed, not quite sure anymore what they were talking about.
“You’ll always have that.” Lex reached out and touched Clark’s face, fingers light upon his cheek. Then he dropped his hand. “I...” He paused, looking uncertain. Then he closed his eyes and talked without looking. “If you wanted, I have a lot of companies.”
The people hiring him at Lex’s companies would think all sorts of things about their relationship. But then, they’d be right, wouldn’t they? “It’s a good idea,” Clark replied. Then he leaned over and kissed Lex.
He could feel Lex's surprise though the kiss. But getting jobs because of who you knew was a time-honored tradition, no matter what youthful idealism of "I'll do it myself!" thought. And he didn't want to turn Lex away, not ever again.
Clark worked his hand up Lex's shirt, not untucking it, but flattening over the fabric and feeling the flesh beneath.
Lex shuddered, the motion rippling through his whole body. He gripped Clark's shirt tightly in return, fingers clenching and unclenching, grasping at Clark and then letting go again. He leaned into the kiss, sucking almost desperately on Clark's tongue.
Clark reclined back on the couch, taking Lex down with him so that Lex was on the top and their bodies were flush against each other.
Kisses, both gentle and demanding, hands roaming over clothes, legs tangled with each other. They indulged like teenagers, reveling in the feelings they shared.
There was a buzzing sound that barely made their awareness. A few minutes later, it sounded again.
Lex groaned and turned his head from Clark's. "Audio 53. What is it, Sue?"
"Mr. Willits is here for his 10am appointment."
"Fuck." Lex rested his head on Clark's. "Give me ten minutes."
"Understood."
The sound of the speaker clicked off.
"Ten minutes?" Clark asked. "I'm not that young anymore. I'm not sure if that's enough time."
Lex chuckled. Then he untangled himself from Clark and stood up.
"Hey, ten minutes..." Clark reluctantly sat up. He wanted that time with Lex.
"I need to review the proposal," Lex said briefly, though the look he shot Clark said he'd also rather have different plans for that time.
Lex went to his desk and sat down, ruffling through files. "They're supposed to be done with today's session by 4pm. There's a break for lunch at noon. You can get in and out of the office here by the back stairwell." He waved a hand towards a wall that looked like any other wall. Clark knew there was a secret door there going up to the roof. He hadn't known Lex would offer it to him.
"I want to date you," Clark said abruptly.
Lex froze. He lifted his head slowly. "What?"
"I want to date you. As Clark Kent, not Superman." Clark stood up and walked to the desk. "Saturday, you claimed Superman. And it was awesome. But I want you as Clark Kent. I want to go to dinner with you, to movies, hold hands in public, kiss you if I want to, even those horrible fundraising events you go to, I want to go to also. I want to take you on dates, buy you silly things, show you off to Lois and Jimmy, take you home to Mom. Stay home and watch tv if that's what we want. But I want it as Clark, not Superman."
Lex stared at him. After a few moments, he pressed a button on his desk. "Sue, invite Mr. Willits back for the next opening I have. I believe that would be 3pm?"
Charity replied back in the affirmative and arranged a couple more details with Lex before they disconnected. The whole time, Lex kept staring at Clark.
"It's stupid to do it as Clark Kent," Lex said the moment the intercom cut off. "Superman is a much better choice. I get death threats on a regular basis, and people who not just aim at me, but at those around me. It's not just my father, either. Clark Kent would have no protection against any of it. Superman is invulnerable and sees worse villains every day. Nobody would dare move on Superman."
Clark hadn't actually realized that Lex had thought about it. He'd thought the moment in the cabin was born out of impulse and a desire to claim in front of those he disliked. Clark should have known better. Lex never did anything without thinking. Well, almost anything.
"Clark has been friends with Superman for years," Clark said, not unaware of the irony of speaking of both parts of himself. It happened more often than he liked. "The threats that come down on Superman, Clark isn't immune to. They go after Lois more, I admit, but Clark has been kidnapped more than once." He raised his eyebrows. "Sometimes, even by you."
Lex twitched his mouth, acknowledging the hit. Then he went serious again. "Superman's enemies are... odd. Most of the time, if they go after somebody, they're taking hostages to force Superman into an action or inaction. If they hurt people, it's wholesale mayhem: Buildings going down, trains derailed, animating mailboxes on the street, that sort of thing. People hurt are happenstance, not targeted.
"My enemies, you have had some experience with already." Lex's voice was bleak, hinting at repressed sorrow.
"Your father isn't exactly average and I'm already on his list."
Lex snorted. "I wasn't counting him. I mean all the people he's hurt, I've hurt, people who thought they've been hurt, relatives of those hurt, people who want what I have, what they think I have." He grinned with lightened amusement, "Women who want to marry and then kill me."
Clark rolled his eyes. There had been enough of those. "Those people are after you."
"And they hurt those near me," Lex responded softly, the pain in his voice more obvious now and Clark knew it was shown by choice. "You're very good at rescuing hostages. I... am less successful in protecting those around me."
"But that would be the advantage to me," Clark replied just as softly. "I don't get hurt." He thought about that a moment, then amended, "Easily."
"Superman doesn't." Lex stood up and walked to the window. "Clark Kent is human."
Clark shook his head, knowing that Lex couldn't see it. "When was the last time you saw Clark Kent in the hospital?"
Lex paused, then turned around. "That's bad cover telling."
Clark shrugged. "Nobody's ever questioned it. Clark fades out of view."
"In my world, there's no such thing as fading out of view, or staying unquestioned. Superman is already in the public view. Clark Kent has never been there. Have you thought about how the meek and mild reporter will handle reporters himself?"
Adjusting his glasses, Clark cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, you'll have to talk to Lex about that. I don't get involved in business." He brought his hand down and brightened. "Oh, Lex is a wonderful lover. Very considerate. If you want to know more, I'm sorry, but you should have gotten there first." He winked.
Lex laughed. Well, Lex quirked his mouth up and his eyes crinkled with a noticeable smile. That was close enough for what Clark was looking for.
The hope was strong. Clark pulled out his biggest gun. "If you date Clark Kent, you'll get Conner as a son. As Superman, Kon-El won't be the same."
Lex softened. Clark could see him wanting it, wanting Conner, to claim him publically and to call him his son before everybody. He wavered for all of three seconds. Then he turned with fury on Clark.
"This is what you were planning!" Lex hissed. "All that sobbing over your job, and you were leading up to this. You want a legitimate way of me paying for Conner's education!"
"What? No!" Clark blinked.
"Liar!"
"I didn't..." Actually, now that he thought about it, that did make sense. "That's not..." It just wasn't planned. "I didn't mean to." How he was going to convince Lex of that, though, was another question.
Lex glared a few moments longer. Then he shook his head and dropped his anger as quickly as he had raised it. "This is reminding me very much like a certain phone call in the middle of the night. A non-existent one-night stand that got me a child I didn't know I had, and a parent who didn't know what they were doing or why they were calling me."
He laughed. This time literally out loud, which startled Clark. Lex kept the grin after the laugh. "I wanted to pay for Conner anyhow. You've come around to what I asked for originally. Only publicly."
Clark opened his mouth then closed it again. Lex was right. And what did that mean for Clark's great morals?
"Your plan elevates mine to above the board. Publicly makes all the difference." He walked from the window across to the bar. He didn't pick up any of the alcohol or glasses there but he stared at it for awhile before turning back to Clark.
"Speaking of which... What are you planning to do, either of your selves, when next I do something against the law?" He quirked a humorless grin. "When you find out that I have done such, that is."
Lex's voice lowered even more. "I am not my father, but I am not your saint. My sins may not be my father's, but they are my own. I have done things you do not approve of, and I will continue to, for my morals are not yours. You want to be with me publicly, but neither Superman nor the reporter like what I do. I'm not planning to change, just because you're here. What will you do?"
Every atom in Clark's body stilled. The atmosphere was similar to the chill of outer space, and he stopped breathing. He knew. He knew Lex still did things. When Lex had been upset after Casablanca, the incident Conner had just referred to, Lex had gone on a three week villainry spree. Thieving, spying, wreaking general havoc, and intruding on goddesses. Most of it wasn't particularly serious, but it was Lex Luthor, and he was doing it to show his displeasure with the League. He kidnapped people (usually Lois), he launched missiles and fired ray guns at Superman on a regular basis, and his company broke a hundred thousand laws.
But Diana liked him. Even before they'd found out about Lionel.
Clark breathed and tried to remember what the others had said. Kon had interviewed them all after he'd found out that Lex was his dad. None of them really held it against Lex, not as they did for some other villains. Arthur had forgiven him, Victor let bygones be bygones, Bruce negotiated with him on a business level, and Bart liked him. Admittedly, Bart had his own immoral tendencies. But there were differences between tendencies and actions.
And that was the problem, wasn't it? Clark as a teenager had never differentiated. Or his parents hadn't, and he'd picked that up, along with his own disappointment in a dream that hadn't been able to cope with reality. His ideal of Lex meant that the reality could never match. Lex made mistakes. Mistakes weren't the end of the world... but Clark had held it as the end of their friendship. He was older now, and he thought he knew better. But did he really?
And he'd spent too much time thinking.
"I didn't think so," Lex said bitterly and picked up the decanter of ... some sort of alcohol. Clark didn't know what.
"Did you want a platitude or did you want a real answer?" Clark snapped, annoyed. "If you want the real answer, you have to wait. Drinking at 10am in the morning isn't going to help that!"
Lex paused, then put it down. "You'd be surprised," he replied dryly. "Alright, though I would think you'd've thought about it before."
"I haven't stopped thinking about it," Clark said quietly. For almost forever, but his attitude softened by Conner. Clark sighed. "You're not perfect. I'm not perfect. Nobody is perfect, and that includes the people who wrote our laws, and who run our country, and who work in your companies. Laws... are not... I'm not a policeman. I will not stand for you hurting anybody, either directly or indirectly. And..." Clark sighed for a second time. "I don't know," he finally admitted. "I just don't know."
"Well," Lex leaned against the wall, his expression sardonic. "That's honest."
Clark spread his hands. "I'm going to try. I'm going to look at each thing on its own. I'm not going to give you free rein to do anything with no consequences... but I'm not going to rush to judgment. Or I'm going to try not to."
Lex stared at him for a long time without saying anything.
It was hard for Clark not to fall into a Superman stance, standing there with Lex staring and staring at him. It reminded him too much of their fights and their anger. They had had plenty of that. Clark had spent enough time lecturing Lex on the right and proper way to be, what he should and shouldn't be doing. He wanted to tell Lex that he didn't have to break laws anymore, that he didn't have to steal things, that he didn't have to kidnap people... but Lex already knew that.
He wanted to ask Lex to change... but he didn't have that right. Not yet, perhaps not ever. Not after what he'd done when they were young, and how he'd carried it through to their adulthood. Lex was a villain, but not the villain he could have been. Clark was a superhero, but not the superhero he could have been either.
Clark stayed silent.
"Fair enough," Lex finally said. "At least you aren't promising anything you can't give. I think you're going to get yourself into trouble down the line, but that's your affair."
It was kind of Lex's too, but Clark thought he wasn't going to point that out.
Lex walked back to his desk and sat down. "It's time for you to leave. You can come back at four."
Clark glanced at the clock. Twenty-past. Lex not only didn't want him around any longer though he still had the rest of the hour, but the offer of a noon break had also been withdrawn. Wistfully, he thought of the 3pm opening that Lex used to have in his schedule... Lex apparently had thought Clark might get there early. Or had planned for the possibility. Gone now.
He wouldn't even have the chance now for a kiss goodbye, which he could have had a half an hour ago. Clark was an idiot. "I still want to date you," he said softly.
Lex snorted, half with laughter. He steepled his fingers and bent his head down to them while still looking at Clark.
"I'm not saying no," Lex finally said, "but I still don't think it's a good idea. Come back later. I can't deal with you any more right now. You turn everything topsy turvy. You always have. But I've had enough for now. Later. We'll pick this up again later."
That was unexpected. It raised Clark's hopes more than he'd thought possible. And maybe he could get that kiss after all.
"Okay," Clark agreed with the conditions. Instead of leaving, though, he came around the side of Lex's desk. Once there he lost some of his nerve and just stood there.
Lex closed his eyes. "You're going to drive me crazy. If I wasn't already." He stood, put his hands on Clark's shoulders, and kissed him.
It was a simple kiss, just mouth to mouth and no heat behind it. But it was a kiss from Lex, freely given, and meant more than the world. He cherished every moment Lex gave him and when Lex withdrew, he stored it up.
Not saying anything else because even a 'goodbye' might break the moment, Clark backed off until he was out from the desk area, then he turned and went to the hidden stairwell. It was only a moment before he figured out the switch.
"Pinky 4652."
Clark paused and looked back to Lex. "What?"
"To get in from the roof," Lex explained, his eyes amused. "The code is 4652 and use your fingerprint from your right pinky finger. For the penthouse, the code is 80659 and your left ring finger."
Only Lex would have specific fingerprints for his access. Clark wondered when he'd been programmed in. "The first one is four digits and the second is five."
"Yes, I know," Lex replied impatiently.
Right. Clark grinned, more at himself than anything. It was Lex. He was surprised the codes weren't some impossible mathematical calculation, but then, they probably needed to be entered quickly, and changed regularly. "See you later," he told Lex, and then headed out.
...
Clark Kent was taking the day off work, so he changed into Superman at the top of the stairs and left his suit on the steps. There wasn't anything major happening in Metropolis so he flew around the world until he found a forest fire.
It wasn't anywhere near buildings or humans. Just a forest and land. In the old days, he would have put the fire out. Now, they knew that fires were good, natural things that let the world renew itself. So he let it burn. But first he walked into the middle of it and stood there amidst the flames while they licked all around him and didn't touch him. It was a heady, wonderous feeling to be in the midst of something that should kill him and didn't. Much like being near Lex, only Lex hurt more and touched more. Fire was beautiful, this close.
He stood there until he heard a fox in distress, and then he went to rescue the animals.
...
/// /// ///
Fandom: Smallville/DCU - Characters: Conner, Clark/Lex, Hope, Mercy, Cassie, others
Rating: PG - Words: 22,432
Type: drama, adventure, au
Warnings: none
Spoilers: none
Summary: Life moves on: Conner trains, Clark changes, Lex lets them in… still, the enemy is out there. (Takes place during Phased Worlds, back on the other side.)
Notes:
Next in the Not A Villain series after Phased Worlds. Well, takes place at the same time as Phased Worlds, actually. Returning to our main cast. 10th in the Conner series, "Not a Villain" (11th if you count the prelude). (See the Master Post for links and summaries to all stories.) Cross-posted to Archive of our Own.
Disclaimer: Only mine in my dreams. ^^ This story was written for free entertainment purposes only and may not be reproduced for profit or altered without permission.
Changes Unfathomed
Clark sat at the breakfast table and stirred his cereal around in the bowl, making sure the milk soaked into every part of the grains. He had to admit that Conner had been right – brand name Corn Chex was much better than generic corn flakes. Now that he wasn't budgeting out of reflex anymore, he admitted that, yes, the old ones had tasted like cardboard. This was much better.
Taking a bite, Clark savored the way it was just between crispy and soggy, with a nice taste and accompanied with the rich taste of the milk.
"Omygod, omygod, omygod!" A blue and green streaked blur dashed through the kitchen, but even superspeed had to wait for the milk to pour. "I'm so late! Why didn't my alarm clock go off?!" Conner turned accusing eyes on Clark. "Why didn't you wake me?"
Clark swallowed his bite. "I turned your alarm off. You're not going to school today."
Conner froze and the milk overran the glass, spilling out. Conner yelped in reflex and there was another small blur as he cleaned things up. Then he put the milk away, the glass down, put his hands on his hips and looked at Clark. "What?"
"I called the school and withdrew you. We've got to be at LexCorp this week."
Conner blinked. "Oh yeah. Training. Forgot about that." He paused, "Wait, withdrew? Not excused?"
The chex were getting soggy, turning past that perfect point to over-saturated. Clark sighed, pushing the bowl a little ways away. "You've already missed a lot of school because I wasn't here. And then there was the incident in March where we both were spending time between the JL's satellite and the Fortress of Solitude."
"Not so solitude as all that," Conner grumped. There had been 20 of them in the Fortress for nearly a month, and as big as the place was, they were still falling over each other. Particularly when the AI didn't approve of having anybody else over at all. It hadn't gone out of its way to make things comfortable for the people there.
Clark shrugged. He was more used to incidents like that, but it had been Conner's first. Kon had been with him for nine months now... Clark glanced at the calendar on the wall. Almost ten. Less than a year. It seemed like forever. Conner was such a part of his life, Clark couldn't believe he hadn't been with him for all the fourteen years he looked like. His son. Kon was his son, and they were together, but his son was less than two years old, and more of his life had been spent being tortured than he'd been living with Clark, even if that's not how Kon saw it. “The time in the labs” was what Kon said it was, and it didn't have anything to do with what the time now was. At least that's what he claimed. The nightmares came out at night, and that's the only time Kon would admit to it.
"I wanted you to have a normal life," Clark finally said. "And school is a part of a normal life. But we're not normal, and normal can't cope with our life. Not as it is."
"Shouldn't that be 'lives'?"
Clark laughed. "You've been living with me too long." He lost the smile. "Not long enough. Not yet. I want years and years with you, Conner. Decades. All the time we never knew and all of it that we can have. You're my family."
Kon watched him with wide eyes. Then he blinked, picked up his milk glass and sat down at the table with Clark. "Um, I didn't mind school, not really. And I'm going to do better at the secrets thing, I will. Hope and Mercy will help with that, and you won't have to worry."
Kon was Clark's sun, the rays of sunshine that lit up his life and made the world brighter. Clark wondered if all parents felt like this, even as his smile returned in the face of Conner's earnestness.
"I know," Clark said simply. "Eat your breakfast, and then we'll head over." He pulled the bowl back to him and added some more chex. The crispy new mixed with the soggy old was almost as good as the perfect in-between.
... ... ...
They walked into the LexCorp lobby at 9:15. Clark had called Charity the night before and arranged to informally get on Lex's calendar. It wasn't on any of the computers, and not on security, or anywhere else that could be accessed, but she'd cleared out an hour on Lex's schedule. It hadn't been as hard as Clark had thought it might be. Apparently when Lex had rearranged his schedule to stay at LexCorp for the week and let Mercy and Hope train Conner, he hadn't filled it up with meetings every minute of the day. Clark wondered what that meant. Probably nothing more than wanting to spend time with Conner. Or to do more research on Lionel. Probably. Possibly.
Kon bounced along next to Clark in his usual enthusiastic manner, striding out happily, watching all around them and noticing everything. He could see everything, including the things that Clark no longer did. The cracks in the sidewalk that formed patterns, the smile on people's faces as they met Conner's eyes and he grinned at them, the others who would look away, the plants that grew in little corners where dust had built up, the different shades of blue used in advertising signs.
To his son, everything was new and wondrous and different. He'd point things out to Clark, and Clark would wonder when he lost his own attention to those same things. Kon loved it all, and he shared it with Clark.
Clark only hoped that Mercy and Hope would leave the wonder when they were done training the caution. Obviously, Clark himself had done a poor, poor job of reinforcing the need for a double-life and the dangers that were there. He would do anything to save his son, and in this case, the need for training was greater than his desire to keep Kon from pain. Safe had many meanings, and Lionel had his sights set on Conner.
"Hi," Clark greeted the receptionist. "Clark and Conner Kent, here to see Justice Hamon."
The trim young man checked his computer and nodded. "May I please see your IDs?"
Clark handed his over, and nudged Kon to remind him as well. It was a normal student ID, given out by the school. Not as secure or protected as a Driver's License. If Conner had been old enough, Lex would have gotten him one of those as well, Clark was sure. Lex would have given Conner everything. He'd given him as much as he could, that Clark and Conner would accept and that wouldn't be suspicious. Lex loved Conner; Clark knew he did. Lex wouldn't hurt Kon.
Lex had loved Clark and hurt him. Clark had betrayed Lex and hurt him. The world was different now. Different and the same. It wouldn't be the same. Clark's mind was going in circles between worrying and reassuring himself.
Once they got past the security into the labs, Justice met them with a quick grin and attention more for Conner than Clark. Hope was waiting over at the other door, but Conner was asking Justice questions about something he'd been thinking of, and Justice was answering and the two of them were in their own little world.
Ten minutes later, they were still at it, and Clark had eased into a chair, and Hope was leaning against the wall. Clark would have been more concerned about their schedule, except Hope didn't seem to be worried about it herself. He looked at her and waited until she looked back at him. When their eyes met, Hope rolled hers at the ceiling and Clark had to laugh.
The sound distracted Kon as nothing else had, and he looked first at Clark, and then at Hope, and he blushed. "Um, sorry. I just wanted to know..."
"It's all right," Hope said. "We'd planned on at least fifteen minutes with you two."
"You had?" Justice blinked.
Hope laughed again. "This way, when they ask what you met about, you can tell them."
"True enough." Justice grinned. "Okay, Conner, we've got five more minutes. How about if---"
Clark stopped listening, and settled back in his chair to simply watch, enjoying his son's happiness.
... ... ...
Clark and Conner passed through the hallowed chambers of LexCorp's Executive Secretary, giving a cautious nod to Charity as they did so. She passed them on with only a brief pause while she picked up the phone and let Lex know they were there.
Going into Lex's office Clark walked in first. He looked for Lex and found him at the expected seat behind his desk. Lex met his gaze and his eyes tightened with old, familiar anger. It was a look that Clark was so used to that he didn't even pause and continued on.
As Lex's gaze flicked to Conner, the anger disappeared and his features softened. He didn't do anything as obvious as show emotion, but still Clark read the fondness Lex had for his son. Clark tried hard not to be jealous of his son, channeling it instead into gladness that Lex loved Kon.
"Conner," Lex said with a bare hint of welcome.
"Hey, DT," Kon cheerfully returned as he sauntered in and claimed the office as easily as he'd claimed his parents' hearts.
The mask slipped away as Lex's mouth curved up. He held the smile for a moment, then it slipped away almost as quickly. "Kon, about the other day, I... have to apologize for the way I spoke to you."
Clark blinked. It was almost unheard of for Lex to hesitate over things, and to apologize? He’d never… no, he had heard Lex apologize like that before, but not for many many years. Lex humbling himself to try and get a friendship back. Usually often when it was Clark’s fault equally, but Lex had always taken the blame to get back.
In this case, though, Clark had no idea what Lex was talking about. He looked at Kon, who was looking just as baffled.
Conner studied Lex for a moment and then asked, “What for?”
Lex grimaced and put his hands on the desk, flattening them out. "At the cabin. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I'm sorry. There were better ways to get my point across instead of losing my temper."
Conner laughed. "DT, I've seen you lose your temper before. That? That was just taking charge." He grimaced, looking very like his dad as he did. "And I totally deserved it. It was my fault, and I know it was."
The blank look was back on Lex's face, nothing else about him moved, even by super-sight.
While Clark was trying to figure out what had caused Lex to shut down, Kon rolled his eyes. "Casablanca, DT."
They were treated to the exceptionally rare sight of Lex turning red. He shifted the chair away from the desk, obviously embarrassed. Apparently he’d forgotten about his temper tantrum from when he’d barely met Conner. Their second meeting. In all honesty, Clark had also forgotten about it. But then, it was more normal for Clark. He’d seen lots worse from Lex.
Lex, more characteristically, promptly redirected away from it. “I scared you at the cabin, and I didn’t stop – I kept going. I should have realized and stopped.”
Conner laughed. “Are you shitting me?”
“Kon,” Clark reflectively said, then instantly wished he’d kept his mouth shut.
Kon stuck a hand in his pocket and came out with a crumpled bill which he handed to Clark without looking. “DT, you didn’t scare me.”
Lex snorted.
“Well, maybe you did,” Kon conceded, “But not really. The thing is, you were right. If I was cowering, it’s because I knew that every single thing you said was right and I was guilty for not doing better.” He drew in his breath. “I should have been more careful. Should be. I hurt people – unintentionally, but I do. Mercy’s relationship with Hope might be destroyed, I could have outed Tim, I could have risked you… I don’t want to do that! I think about it all the time. I think about it before I say something, then I think about it immediately after, and then I have bad dreams about it that night. I don’t want the bad buys to know about Tim’s dad, I don’t want them to know about Cassie’s mom. Hell, I’m doing it right now… I don’t know if you know Tim or Cassie or if they have parents, and just because I trust you and know you know doesn’t mean I really know and I shouldn’t have said that. But I did. And I do. I need to learn.”
The last several sentences had been spoken with barely any stops or breaths. Now Conner took the opportunity to take some air in while the others thought through his words.
Clark was glad that Conner had thought about all that. It meant he really was ready for the training and wasn’t just saying so. Clark may not have been the best trainer himself, but even Batman hadn’t succeeded with Kon. So… Mercy and Hope. It would be nice if they never had to worry about such things, but that wasn’t the world they lived in.
Lex was still looking a little uncertain, torn between his instincts of the day before and the worry he had for hurting Kon. Clark sympathized.
Hope cleared her throat. “And speaking of which… Conner?” She gestured at the door.
After a pause, during which it looked like Kon thought about heading around the desk to hug Lex, then didn't, Kon waved a cheerful hand at both his dads and followed Hope out of the office.
There was a minute of silence left inside, while both Clark and Lex looked at the shut door.
“That’s it?” Clark finally said.
Lex grimaced. “Yes. I’m not invited either. I have absolutely no idea what they’re planning.”
Clark’s imagination was painting vivid, horrible pictures that were all wrong. Probably. He shook his head. It couldn’t be any worse than what Batman did. Probably. “No kryptonite, right?”
“I made them turn all their stocks into Justice,” Lex growled. “That was the stupidest stunt ever. And no, they’ve been made well aware they’re not allowed to go anywhere near Kon with it during this so-called-training.”
“Well…” Clark glanced uncertainly between Lex and the door. Then he turned towards the door. “I guess I should head out. I’ll be back later to pick up Conner.” He didn’t want to leave, but it was obvious he wasn’t quite welcome here, and no reason he should be.
“Oh shut up and get back here.” The growl sounded exactly the same. Lex’s reaction to stupid people doing stupid things.
Clark didn’t really feel like getting beat up today. Physically or emotionally. But he turned around anyhow. He looked for a moment at the seats in front of Lex’s desk, then headed instead to the couch perpendicular to the window. He sat down. Lex always had the most comfortable furniture, without losing practicality in the function. Metropolis was above the fog layer outside the window. When they’d come into the building, it was still grey mist on the ground.
There were sounds of Lex moving to stand nearby. Not sitting next to Clark on the couch, just standing near. Not that Clark expected anything like that. Just an observation.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Lex didn’t mince words. “You’ve been moody all morning.”
“I’ve been in your office for less than five minutes!” Clark turned from the window to face Lex.
Lex raised an eyebrow.
Clark groaned. “You’ve been watching us since we got here. Since we left the apartment? You don’t have cameras inside the apartment, do you?”
“Of course not.” Lex snorted. “Despite your delusions, you’re not that interesting.”
Clark was going to have to sweep for bugs again. He did it regularly anyhow, but given the mood Lex himself was in… Or he might leave them there. Conner lived with him now, and Lex cared.
“I withdrew Conner from the High School,” Clark came out with it abruptly. “It’s not the right place for him.”
Lex shrugged indifferently.
“I was mostly normal when I was growing up, my powers coming in a little at a time, not even knowing I was different from my friends other than having to be more careful of my strength.” Clark turned to the window again. “I had a normal life, because I was normal, with normal parents. The powers… the alienness… that was the weird stuff, the stuff I didn’t always want and had to adapt to, while still trying to be a teenager. It wasn’t something I want anybody else to ever have to go through.”
“You excelled at the teenage angst,” Lex agreed, a hint of a laugh in his voice.
Clark’s mouth twitched up at the memory of how many hours he’d spent in Lex’s office or over the pool table pouring out his worries over girls and grades… none of which made any difference in the long run. “I wanted Conner to have normal, but he’s not normal, I’m not normal, and we don’t live normal lives. High School isn’t so wonderful that he needs to be there.”
Lex was still indifferent. Clark had only gotten a few tales out of him of his own early school experiences, and those were mostly about bullies and no-so-nice teachers, so he rather suspected that Lex had a less-than-favorable opinion of schools in general.
“Go on,” Lex prompted after Clark had stayed quiet for awhile.
Clark sighed. “Clark Kent didn’t finish college. Clark Kent is a lousy person to do any sort of home schooling. I don't even know if I'm qualified to home teach. I want Conner to have a good education, and for people not to look down on him for it. I can teach him myself... but then people will wonder because Clark Kent wouldn't have been able to do that. And Conner won't have the right credentials for later, and he should meet new people, not just all the superheroes. I want to get real special tutors, with things that will educate and challenge him... and I can’t afford that. I’m going to have to get a new job.”
Lex blinked at that last. "A new job?"
In all his life, Clark had only ever had one job. Helping on the farm didn't count, not really. The Daily Planet had been his second life and his only other life. Switching his writing to op ed articles hadn't been nearly as traumatizing as the mere thought of leaving the Planet altogether. But, "It doesn't pay enough. I never kept any savings." The job had paid more than he needed to live on, living as cheaply as he did, but at the start he sent the rest of the money on to his mom, and then when she was financially secure, he donated most of the rest to charities. He'd never thought he'd needed any savings. But that was for one person living by himself, and without a teenage son that he needed to put through college and special schooling. If he'd kept his old role as investigative reporter, Perry would probably have given him a raise. For op-ed... well, Perry would still give him a raise. But it was time for a change, even if he was scared spitless over it. "For Conner... for Conner I need to change."
“I could---” Lex clamped his mouth shut on his words.
“Yes, you could,” Clark agreed softly. He’d thought about it. How easy it would be to take Lex’s money, Lex’s time, Lex’s resources. They wouldn’t be for him, after all – it would be for Conner. And Conner deserved the best. With Lex's resources, Clark could keep his comfortable, safe job and not have to change. Not have to change in anything except his morals.
It was a very slippery quick slope to corruption, wasn’t it? When your justifications weren’t for just you yourself. It had always been so easy to be morally upright when it was just him alone. But having to be responsible for another person… After all the many years of fighting crime and not understanding it, Clark suddenly knew why some people could make stupid decisions. Not for themselves, but for others.
Hadn’t he been just the same as a kid? Not accepting anything Lex would do for himself, but freely asking for the gifts for others. Somehow thinking that because it was for other people, it was okay, and never really seeing that it was just as wrong. Or just as right. Because Lex gave those gifts freely at the time, not asking anything at all in return, just happy to help. Clark hadn’t realized until he'd met Oliver that people usually expected things back. It was what Clark's dad had always tried to warn him about, but Clark had never realized because Lex hadn’t ever asked for anything more than his friendship. Lex had just wanted to help, and Clark had always thrown it back in his face, just like his dad. Luthor name, Luthor motives, never mind the truth.
Lex cleared his throat. “You’ve been a writer for many years, with many awards. That’s enough on the resume to get jobs in the private sector. They’ll pay better than a reporter’s salary, even a top reporter.”
Clark looked over, his eyebrows raising. “Doing what?”
Lex’s expression did an interesting dance of moving between incredulous and exasperation. The exasperation won out. He walked to the couch and sat down, forcing Clark more into his own space.
“For someone who prides themselves on knowing people and staying on top of events, you’re sure lousy at the real world things.” Lex huffed. “Companies pay well for people who can write. There are many fields involving communication.” He ticked them off on his fingers. “Press releases – which you should know about, having read enough of them in your reporter job, media relations, company newsletters and announcements, copywriting, technical writing in just about any field you can think of, formal publications, procedures, grant writing and applications, copyright searches and applications, marketing, advertising… and that’s just off the top of my head.” Lex spread out his fingers, showing both hands open.
Strong hands, with slender fingers, that could trace one’s skin so delicately, clever fingers to grasp and hold one moment and play patterns upon the skin the next. Clark forced his eyes away from those fingers, those hands, and the memories and desires that came with them. “Don’t you have to... have training for those?”
Lex glanced from his own hands to Clark’s face, then back again. When he looked up again, his eyes were changing color, turning from a pale blue to a darker hue. But he didn’t reach out. “I don’t think you’d have any problems learning. Do you?”
“Probably not,” Clark agreed. As Lex had mentioned the jobs, Clark had remembered different people he’d known doing them. It may not be a giant public service that he was doing... but neither had most of the things he’d reported on while working his way up the ladder at the Planet. Covering the garbage collectors' strike, the city council meetings, the dog trends... some of that had been impossibly mundane and boring, but had to be done to advance to where he could do good.
He’d also used the reporter beat as a way to keep on top of news about things that needed Superman, making friends with the crime reporters and keeping his ear out. However, nowadays with the A.I. trained and the J.L. coordinating, that wasn’t needed anymore. Lois and Jimmy could always fill him in with local things the others missed.
Right now, the way Lex was relaxing back on the couch was much more interesting.
Clark edged a little closer to Lex, their legs brushing. “One of the problems I have, though, is new jobs will expect regular work from me. Superman always has to come first. I was lucky at the Daily Planet.”
“You had a lot of people looking out for you, even when they didn’t know what they were looking out for.” Lex’s voice had dropped a little lower in his range. Not his deepest, but definitely below his normal speaking voice.
“I won’t have that in a new job,” Clark breathed, not quite sure anymore what they were talking about.
“You’ll always have that.” Lex reached out and touched Clark’s face, fingers light upon his cheek. Then he dropped his hand. “I...” He paused, looking uncertain. Then he closed his eyes and talked without looking. “If you wanted, I have a lot of companies.”
The people hiring him at Lex’s companies would think all sorts of things about their relationship. But then, they’d be right, wouldn’t they? “It’s a good idea,” Clark replied. Then he leaned over and kissed Lex.
He could feel Lex's surprise though the kiss. But getting jobs because of who you knew was a time-honored tradition, no matter what youthful idealism of "I'll do it myself!" thought. And he didn't want to turn Lex away, not ever again.
Clark worked his hand up Lex's shirt, not untucking it, but flattening over the fabric and feeling the flesh beneath.
Lex shuddered, the motion rippling through his whole body. He gripped Clark's shirt tightly in return, fingers clenching and unclenching, grasping at Clark and then letting go again. He leaned into the kiss, sucking almost desperately on Clark's tongue.
Clark reclined back on the couch, taking Lex down with him so that Lex was on the top and their bodies were flush against each other.
Kisses, both gentle and demanding, hands roaming over clothes, legs tangled with each other. They indulged like teenagers, reveling in the feelings they shared.
There was a buzzing sound that barely made their awareness. A few minutes later, it sounded again.
Lex groaned and turned his head from Clark's. "Audio 53. What is it, Sue?"
"Mr. Willits is here for his 10am appointment."
"Fuck." Lex rested his head on Clark's. "Give me ten minutes."
"Understood."
The sound of the speaker clicked off.
"Ten minutes?" Clark asked. "I'm not that young anymore. I'm not sure if that's enough time."
Lex chuckled. Then he untangled himself from Clark and stood up.
"Hey, ten minutes..." Clark reluctantly sat up. He wanted that time with Lex.
"I need to review the proposal," Lex said briefly, though the look he shot Clark said he'd also rather have different plans for that time.
Lex went to his desk and sat down, ruffling through files. "They're supposed to be done with today's session by 4pm. There's a break for lunch at noon. You can get in and out of the office here by the back stairwell." He waved a hand towards a wall that looked like any other wall. Clark knew there was a secret door there going up to the roof. He hadn't known Lex would offer it to him.
"I want to date you," Clark said abruptly.
Lex froze. He lifted his head slowly. "What?"
"I want to date you. As Clark Kent, not Superman." Clark stood up and walked to the desk. "Saturday, you claimed Superman. And it was awesome. But I want you as Clark Kent. I want to go to dinner with you, to movies, hold hands in public, kiss you if I want to, even those horrible fundraising events you go to, I want to go to also. I want to take you on dates, buy you silly things, show you off to Lois and Jimmy, take you home to Mom. Stay home and watch tv if that's what we want. But I want it as Clark, not Superman."
Lex stared at him. After a few moments, he pressed a button on his desk. "Sue, invite Mr. Willits back for the next opening I have. I believe that would be 3pm?"
Charity replied back in the affirmative and arranged a couple more details with Lex before they disconnected. The whole time, Lex kept staring at Clark.
"It's stupid to do it as Clark Kent," Lex said the moment the intercom cut off. "Superman is a much better choice. I get death threats on a regular basis, and people who not just aim at me, but at those around me. It's not just my father, either. Clark Kent would have no protection against any of it. Superman is invulnerable and sees worse villains every day. Nobody would dare move on Superman."
Clark hadn't actually realized that Lex had thought about it. He'd thought the moment in the cabin was born out of impulse and a desire to claim in front of those he disliked. Clark should have known better. Lex never did anything without thinking. Well, almost anything.
"Clark has been friends with Superman for years," Clark said, not unaware of the irony of speaking of both parts of himself. It happened more often than he liked. "The threats that come down on Superman, Clark isn't immune to. They go after Lois more, I admit, but Clark has been kidnapped more than once." He raised his eyebrows. "Sometimes, even by you."
Lex twitched his mouth, acknowledging the hit. Then he went serious again. "Superman's enemies are... odd. Most of the time, if they go after somebody, they're taking hostages to force Superman into an action or inaction. If they hurt people, it's wholesale mayhem: Buildings going down, trains derailed, animating mailboxes on the street, that sort of thing. People hurt are happenstance, not targeted.
"My enemies, you have had some experience with already." Lex's voice was bleak, hinting at repressed sorrow.
"Your father isn't exactly average and I'm already on his list."
Lex snorted. "I wasn't counting him. I mean all the people he's hurt, I've hurt, people who thought they've been hurt, relatives of those hurt, people who want what I have, what they think I have." He grinned with lightened amusement, "Women who want to marry and then kill me."
Clark rolled his eyes. There had been enough of those. "Those people are after you."
"And they hurt those near me," Lex responded softly, the pain in his voice more obvious now and Clark knew it was shown by choice. "You're very good at rescuing hostages. I... am less successful in protecting those around me."
"But that would be the advantage to me," Clark replied just as softly. "I don't get hurt." He thought about that a moment, then amended, "Easily."
"Superman doesn't." Lex stood up and walked to the window. "Clark Kent is human."
Clark shook his head, knowing that Lex couldn't see it. "When was the last time you saw Clark Kent in the hospital?"
Lex paused, then turned around. "That's bad cover telling."
Clark shrugged. "Nobody's ever questioned it. Clark fades out of view."
"In my world, there's no such thing as fading out of view, or staying unquestioned. Superman is already in the public view. Clark Kent has never been there. Have you thought about how the meek and mild reporter will handle reporters himself?"
Adjusting his glasses, Clark cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, you'll have to talk to Lex about that. I don't get involved in business." He brought his hand down and brightened. "Oh, Lex is a wonderful lover. Very considerate. If you want to know more, I'm sorry, but you should have gotten there first." He winked.
Lex laughed. Well, Lex quirked his mouth up and his eyes crinkled with a noticeable smile. That was close enough for what Clark was looking for.
The hope was strong. Clark pulled out his biggest gun. "If you date Clark Kent, you'll get Conner as a son. As Superman, Kon-El won't be the same."
Lex softened. Clark could see him wanting it, wanting Conner, to claim him publically and to call him his son before everybody. He wavered for all of three seconds. Then he turned with fury on Clark.
"This is what you were planning!" Lex hissed. "All that sobbing over your job, and you were leading up to this. You want a legitimate way of me paying for Conner's education!"
"What? No!" Clark blinked.
"Liar!"
"I didn't..." Actually, now that he thought about it, that did make sense. "That's not..." It just wasn't planned. "I didn't mean to." How he was going to convince Lex of that, though, was another question.
Lex glared a few moments longer. Then he shook his head and dropped his anger as quickly as he had raised it. "This is reminding me very much like a certain phone call in the middle of the night. A non-existent one-night stand that got me a child I didn't know I had, and a parent who didn't know what they were doing or why they were calling me."
He laughed. This time literally out loud, which startled Clark. Lex kept the grin after the laugh. "I wanted to pay for Conner anyhow. You've come around to what I asked for originally. Only publicly."
Clark opened his mouth then closed it again. Lex was right. And what did that mean for Clark's great morals?
"Your plan elevates mine to above the board. Publicly makes all the difference." He walked from the window across to the bar. He didn't pick up any of the alcohol or glasses there but he stared at it for awhile before turning back to Clark.
"Speaking of which... What are you planning to do, either of your selves, when next I do something against the law?" He quirked a humorless grin. "When you find out that I have done such, that is."
Lex's voice lowered even more. "I am not my father, but I am not your saint. My sins may not be my father's, but they are my own. I have done things you do not approve of, and I will continue to, for my morals are not yours. You want to be with me publicly, but neither Superman nor the reporter like what I do. I'm not planning to change, just because you're here. What will you do?"
Every atom in Clark's body stilled. The atmosphere was similar to the chill of outer space, and he stopped breathing. He knew. He knew Lex still did things. When Lex had been upset after Casablanca, the incident Conner had just referred to, Lex had gone on a three week villainry spree. Thieving, spying, wreaking general havoc, and intruding on goddesses. Most of it wasn't particularly serious, but it was Lex Luthor, and he was doing it to show his displeasure with the League. He kidnapped people (usually Lois), he launched missiles and fired ray guns at Superman on a regular basis, and his company broke a hundred thousand laws.
But Diana liked him. Even before they'd found out about Lionel.
Clark breathed and tried to remember what the others had said. Kon had interviewed them all after he'd found out that Lex was his dad. None of them really held it against Lex, not as they did for some other villains. Arthur had forgiven him, Victor let bygones be bygones, Bruce negotiated with him on a business level, and Bart liked him. Admittedly, Bart had his own immoral tendencies. But there were differences between tendencies and actions.
And that was the problem, wasn't it? Clark as a teenager had never differentiated. Or his parents hadn't, and he'd picked that up, along with his own disappointment in a dream that hadn't been able to cope with reality. His ideal of Lex meant that the reality could never match. Lex made mistakes. Mistakes weren't the end of the world... but Clark had held it as the end of their friendship. He was older now, and he thought he knew better. But did he really?
And he'd spent too much time thinking.
"I didn't think so," Lex said bitterly and picked up the decanter of ... some sort of alcohol. Clark didn't know what.
"Did you want a platitude or did you want a real answer?" Clark snapped, annoyed. "If you want the real answer, you have to wait. Drinking at 10am in the morning isn't going to help that!"
Lex paused, then put it down. "You'd be surprised," he replied dryly. "Alright, though I would think you'd've thought about it before."
"I haven't stopped thinking about it," Clark said quietly. For almost forever, but his attitude softened by Conner. Clark sighed. "You're not perfect. I'm not perfect. Nobody is perfect, and that includes the people who wrote our laws, and who run our country, and who work in your companies. Laws... are not... I'm not a policeman. I will not stand for you hurting anybody, either directly or indirectly. And..." Clark sighed for a second time. "I don't know," he finally admitted. "I just don't know."
"Well," Lex leaned against the wall, his expression sardonic. "That's honest."
Clark spread his hands. "I'm going to try. I'm going to look at each thing on its own. I'm not going to give you free rein to do anything with no consequences... but I'm not going to rush to judgment. Or I'm going to try not to."
Lex stared at him for a long time without saying anything.
It was hard for Clark not to fall into a Superman stance, standing there with Lex staring and staring at him. It reminded him too much of their fights and their anger. They had had plenty of that. Clark had spent enough time lecturing Lex on the right and proper way to be, what he should and shouldn't be doing. He wanted to tell Lex that he didn't have to break laws anymore, that he didn't have to steal things, that he didn't have to kidnap people... but Lex already knew that.
He wanted to ask Lex to change... but he didn't have that right. Not yet, perhaps not ever. Not after what he'd done when they were young, and how he'd carried it through to their adulthood. Lex was a villain, but not the villain he could have been. Clark was a superhero, but not the superhero he could have been either.
Clark stayed silent.
"Fair enough," Lex finally said. "At least you aren't promising anything you can't give. I think you're going to get yourself into trouble down the line, but that's your affair."
It was kind of Lex's too, but Clark thought he wasn't going to point that out.
Lex walked back to his desk and sat down. "It's time for you to leave. You can come back at four."
Clark glanced at the clock. Twenty-past. Lex not only didn't want him around any longer though he still had the rest of the hour, but the offer of a noon break had also been withdrawn. Wistfully, he thought of the 3pm opening that Lex used to have in his schedule... Lex apparently had thought Clark might get there early. Or had planned for the possibility. Gone now.
He wouldn't even have the chance now for a kiss goodbye, which he could have had a half an hour ago. Clark was an idiot. "I still want to date you," he said softly.
Lex snorted, half with laughter. He steepled his fingers and bent his head down to them while still looking at Clark.
"I'm not saying no," Lex finally said, "but I still don't think it's a good idea. Come back later. I can't deal with you any more right now. You turn everything topsy turvy. You always have. But I've had enough for now. Later. We'll pick this up again later."
That was unexpected. It raised Clark's hopes more than he'd thought possible. And maybe he could get that kiss after all.
"Okay," Clark agreed with the conditions. Instead of leaving, though, he came around the side of Lex's desk. Once there he lost some of his nerve and just stood there.
Lex closed his eyes. "You're going to drive me crazy. If I wasn't already." He stood, put his hands on Clark's shoulders, and kissed him.
It was a simple kiss, just mouth to mouth and no heat behind it. But it was a kiss from Lex, freely given, and meant more than the world. He cherished every moment Lex gave him and when Lex withdrew, he stored it up.
Not saying anything else because even a 'goodbye' might break the moment, Clark backed off until he was out from the desk area, then he turned and went to the hidden stairwell. It was only a moment before he figured out the switch.
"Pinky 4652."
Clark paused and looked back to Lex. "What?"
"To get in from the roof," Lex explained, his eyes amused. "The code is 4652 and use your fingerprint from your right pinky finger. For the penthouse, the code is 80659 and your left ring finger."
Only Lex would have specific fingerprints for his access. Clark wondered when he'd been programmed in. "The first one is four digits and the second is five."
"Yes, I know," Lex replied impatiently.
Right. Clark grinned, more at himself than anything. It was Lex. He was surprised the codes weren't some impossible mathematical calculation, but then, they probably needed to be entered quickly, and changed regularly. "See you later," he told Lex, and then headed out.
...
Clark Kent was taking the day off work, so he changed into Superman at the top of the stairs and left his suit on the steps. There wasn't anything major happening in Metropolis so he flew around the world until he found a forest fire.
It wasn't anywhere near buildings or humans. Just a forest and land. In the old days, he would have put the fire out. Now, they knew that fires were good, natural things that let the world renew itself. So he let it burn. But first he walked into the middle of it and stood there amidst the flames while they licked all around him and didn't touch him. It was a heady, wonderous feeling to be in the midst of something that should kill him and didn't. Much like being near Lex, only Lex hurt more and touched more. Fire was beautiful, this close.
He stood there until he heard a fox in distress, and then he went to rescue the animals.
...
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no subject
Date: 2014-05-16 01:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-08 01:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-16 01:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-08 01:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-16 09:43 pm (UTC)When your justifications weren’t for just you yourself. It had always been so easy to be morally upright when it was just him alone. But having to be responsible for another person… After all the many years of fighting crime and not understanding it, Clark suddenly knew why some people could make stupid decisions. Not for themselves, but for others.
Hadn’t he been just the same as a kid? Not accepting anything Lex would do for himself, but freely asking for the gifts for others. Somehow thinking that because it was for other people, it was okay, and never really seeing that it was just as wrong. Or just as right. Because Lex gave those gifts freely at the time, not asking anything at all in return, just happy to help. Clark hadn’t realized until he'd met Oliver that people usually expected things back. It was what Clark's dad had always tried to warn him about, but Clark had never realized because Lex hadn’t ever asked for anything more than his friendship.
When did our Clark become so wise. I think the lonely years before Con and then Lex came back into his life have been very good for him. I'm glad he worked up the nerve to ask Lex to date. I'm REALLY glad he paused and actually THOUGHT about Lex's question about how he would handle some illicit activity, because you know it's going to come up sometime. Again, our boy has grown up well!
And I _loved_ the bit in the end about the forest fire. Honestly, I loved the whole darned thing, but that just made me happy.
no subject
Date: 2014-08-08 01:11 am (UTC)Sometimes it takes the years to learn what things were like. There's the instinct for adults to look on teenagers with "you'll find out" reflexes, but it's true - it takes experience, and how do you get that except by living it?
Clark wasn't totally lonely before - he had Lois in his life for romance (his death kind of killed that, pun wincingly intended), and he did (and does) have very good friends, but Kon truly became family in the way not many others could. And Lex, well, yes. ^^
Clark in the middle of a forest fire is something I'd love to see a picture of sometime. I can just see him doing that. :)